Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake

Canadian Rating: 14A

This is not an easy movie to review. Let me tell you why: I am not strongly opinionated on it, and that puts me in the awkward position of either making stuff up to keep you entertained, or writing exactly how I feel in a mediocre fashion.

I know, I will do both! I hope you enjoy this contented, radical, satisfied, and outraged review of the Social Network.

It’s a true story about some kids in university who come up with the idea for an internet social network. They tell a guy named Mark (Jesse Eisenberg) (who has some alarming social problems) about their idea. Mark agrees to be their programmer for the project, but then takes off and creates the network himself.  He asks his best friend Eduardo (Andrew Garfield) to help fund the creature, and during their entrepreneurial adventures, the two men experience male bonding, closeness, farness, betrayal, and some mild partying.

The three characters who had the original idea for the network, bicker and fight and hum and haw over whether to try legal action. Large parts of the movie take place in presentish day when the lawsuit is in finally in full swing.

What I really thought:

This is a good movie because the acting is smooth and natural. The soundtrack is in a nice low, E minor (I’m not sure about the E, but definitely a minor) that keeps you curious about the story. The quick scene-switching between presentish day court cases and the birth of The Facebook is well done (it’s awesome for the Attention Span Challenged). It’s emotional. It’s frustrating. You can’t question any of the major plot points because it’s a true story. I always like that in a movie. It gives my annoying, analytical side a break.

My favorite thing I learned is that it used to be called The Facebook! Just like The Batman! Awesome!

I cannot prove that Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger’s Syndrome. I tried to wiki it but he paid Jimmy Whales three million dollars to keep his social issues off the internet. Scandal! Actually I stopped researching after a couple minutes because my roommate started watching Anchorman.

Justin Timberlake can act!!…like himself…pretty well. In front of a camera.

Now for my outrageous and made up opinions, once dormant, now exploded onto the internet. Be warned, this is not reading for the weak!

Ok. I’m angry. Ok…

I can’t believe I had to sit thru 2 hours of a historical documentary on an invention I don’t even like that took place in 2003!! (!!*) 2003?* I was 17! Puh-lease. It’s history, not…last week’s newspaper. Set to nice music. With a good plot and a well rounded cast.

Ah frag.

*!!!!?!?!?!11?!!

*?????!??!???