Why Listen to Radiohead

Posted on June 16, 2012 by

I have some bad news, guys. I bit off more than I could chew. I am in over my head. My ideas were bigger than my attention span.

Q: Tell me all about your failures. I’m all ears.

A: Thanks! Well it all started back in March when I got my hands on some tickets to see Radiohead in concert for June 16th. I was so excited that I decided to write a blog called, “Why Listen to Radiohead.” The target audience would be people who aren’t really into them and don’t completely understand why they’re so popular. And the secondary audience, the fans, would nod along appreciatively as they read my perfectly organized thesis.

Singer: Thom Yorke

Johnny “Bangs” Greenwood

….and the rest.

Now I wanted this blog to come out a bit before the concert. A month before, or maybe two weeks before would be a good time frame. My first mistake was thinking I had lots of time.  So unfortunately, instead of working on my paper, I drank Coors Light, started a book club, went to Dominican Republic, went on an arduous journey to find the cure for heartburn (the answer is eating less and lots of probiotics), went to the optometrist’s office, read the first 6 books of “A Series of Unfortunate Events,” and looked everywhere to find the commentary online for the movie (unsuccessfully).

Q: Eventful few months?

A: Yes.

Q: Productive?

A: Medium.

Q: Radiohead-themed?

A: No.  Well I thought about my article once in awhile, but instead of figuring out how to write it, I just thought things like, “oh man, when this article is finished, it’s going to be so awesome and funny and informative!!” which is really the kind of thinking that leads to doom.

Q: So now what?

A: Well after a very upsetting evening last night where I was sugar crashing and trying to come up with a good introduction, I decided to put the computer down and really think about what I wanted to say. And I decided that I needed to trim some of the things I was planning on discussing, in order to get this baby posted in time.

Note to self: Changing the font to Courier New and the font size to 14 does nothing for writer’s block.

A Brief History of Radiohead and Me

The first Radiohead song I heard was Karma Police on the Much Music combo album Big Shiny Tunes 3. I must have been 12 years old at the time, and back then it made sense in my brain that I could do my homework on one end of the room, while the stereo on the other end of the room played a song I really liked, then when it ended, I would get up and cross the room and press “back” and I would return to my homework and listen to it again. I must have done this 20 times in one sitting.

Q: I know it was the 90’s and all, but I’m surprised your stereo didn’t have a “repeat” button.

A: It probably did. But I think my goal was to actually listen to the whole thing but I kept changing my mind and playing it again.

Q: You loved Karma Police that much?

A: No. It was Push It by Garbage that I loved. But I kept hearing the beginning of Karma Police and then I knew it was time to go back and replay Push It. Come on! Karma Police was no match for the intoxicating and risqué beats of Garbage!

Q: Agreed. So then what happened?

A: That was my entire experience with Radiohead until I was 14. Oh, besides seeing The Bends lying around my eldest brother’s house and thinking, “this cover is not interesting for 12 year olds.”

The Bends album art: not interesting for 12 year olds.

Q: So what happened when you were 14?

A: By this time my brother lived in Toronto, and I visited him one Christmas in 2000, and this happened to be a very exciting time for Radiohead fans. The album Kid A had just come out, causing waves of rejoicing. Everyone had been so eager to find out what they were going to do next after the amazing OK Computer album. Of course, I was in my own world and knew none of this, but I was able to perceive a few things despite my mental absentness:

  1. My brother invited a friend over who hadn’t heard the album yet.
  2. He was playing songs for him from Kid A.
  3. I was in the room at the same time.

I see what you did there…

The story has a really quick ending. It’s like, lots of build-up and then wham, it’s over. Here is the end of the story:

I heard “How to Disappear Completely” and “Idioteque”… and the rest is history. I became a fan for life.

And I even started to love “Karma Police.”

Q: That’s a nice story, but it wasn’t very brief. Are you sure you’re going to get this blog done before the concert tomorrow?

A: Can I do it? Let’s find out! Watch me go!

Why Listen to Radiohead

This is the part of the blog I was dreading the most.  There are too many things I want to talk about, but like a well-mannered Beaudelaire orphan, I will try to keep it simple and not just go and stab Count Olaf a hundred times in the dark.

There are several themes that are interwoven into the songs of Radiohead, which my conscious and subconscious minds pick up on when I listen to them:

Imagination and Possibilities

Even if you don’t understand everything Radiohead is singing about, everything they say has meaning. Whether it means something to just them and they don’t want you to know, or it means something to you personally…that’s really up to you.

Sometimes they give you clues as to their meaning, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes you know what it means just from feeling the music, instead of listening. The bottom line is that because they hold back some pieces of the puzzle, we’ll always be wondering and thinking about the possibilities. And as we grow and change (I’m not a carefree 14 year old anymore, I’m sad to say), we find new ways to interpret the songs. Their music grows with us because of its endless possibilities.

You know that feeling when you’re going for a walk, and the music you’re listening to takes over your world and you either think you’re in a movie, or you’re creating a movie right there, featuring you, walking to the store, buying some M&Ms. Are you a spy? Are you in the witness protection program? Are you a psychopath? The movie is your oyster.

Sound Mixing

Anything from Kid A and up must be listened to with noise-cancelling ear buds. It’s amazing.

Just Doing What You Want To Do

This is not only the main reason I love Radiohead.

This is why I’m writing this article.

Among their many cherished and celebrated themes – Paranoia, Tragedy, Revenge, Hope, Imagination, Futility, Human Observation – the one that stands out to me the most is the attitude of just doing what you want to do, no matter what people say. And they practice what they sing.

For instance, once we’ve succeeded at something, and we’re expected to continue being awesome, usually we look at what people liked about our first creation and we try to emulate it, while still trying to tweak it so it’s not exactly the same thing again. Oh how we wish we could just release the exact same thing again…but we cannot.

Refusing to deal with this nonsense, Radiohead writes what they want to write and what they think sounds cool, and in doing this have created some pretty damn experimental and insane things. As humans, we always try to compare new creations with previous work but in this case it’s very hard to do. They are constantly moving forward and never letting their previous successes affect their work.

In 2008 Radiohead stopped releasing albums under record labels and became a fully independent band, which allowed them even more freedom. Freedom to do fun things like allowing the fans to pay whatever they wanted for their album In Rainbows!

In a world where…

Hang on that’s a little cliché sounding….

In Pertobello’s world, it’s so easy to just be a pushover. To be guided by everyone else’s needs. In a way it’s almost easier. It’s the path of least resistance. But then later you really suffer for it when you forget who you are.

When I listen to Radiohead, I’m reminded of how it’s my life and I get to make my own decisions. Advice is all well and good, but in the end it’s up to me.

And during that hour-long commute home, when I get to shut the world out and crank up King of Limbs, I get to be the boss of my own life.

Q: Do  you love every song by Radiohead?

A: No. If I did, then I would just feel like they were trying to make me happy and that would defeat their “Deal with it” attitude.

deal wit it

Q: I feel like your blog, while insightful, explains more why you listen to Radiohead than why other people should get into them. Do you have any advice for aspiring listeners?

Yeah sorry. A lot of that stuff got cut out. I really should change the title of the article. Here are some tips:

  1. Remember that Radiohead is backwards. A lot of their songs are hard to enjoy at first but the more times you hear it, the better it gets (as opposed to songs that get overplayed on the radio.) I know it seems like my fandom was instant, especially since I said “the rest was history.” What I meant was “every album was a struggle. Some even took years, like Amesiac, which is now my favorite of them all.”
  2. My friend told me I should have introduced him to Hail to the Thief instead of Ok Computer. So, listen to Hail to the Thief first, kids.
  3. As you listen to them, check out the lyrics and song info on greenplastic.com. It really helped me to understand their thought processes and how they came to write some of the songs they did.

Q: Any closing remarks?

A: Just this: Aha! I made it! It’s still June 15th. (Oops it’s now 1:30am on the 16th. This is what I get for going out and playing pool while under a tight deadline). Please tune into Twitter tomorrow evening as I live tweet the whole concert. Haha, I’m just kidding. I don’t even know what “live tweet” means.

Goodbye everyone! Please enjoy a list of my top ten song:

__

10. Sit Down Stand Up (Hail to the Theif)

9. Pyramid Song (Amnesiac)

8. Climbing Up the Walls (OK Computer)

7. Packt Like Sardines In A Crushd Tin Box (Amnesiac)

6. Pulk Pull Revolving Doors (Amnesiac)

5. Idioteque (Kid A)

4. Jigsaw Falling Into Place (In Rainbows)

3. Everything In Its Right Place (Kid A)

2.  2+2=5 (Hail to the Thief)

1. Lucky (OK Computer)

__

UPDATE:

I’m sorry to announce that the much-anticipated concert was cancelled due to the stage collapsing about an hour before doors were supposed to open. My heart goes out to Scott Johnson’s family (the drum technician who was killed in the collapse) and the ones who were injured. Since the band dearly loved him as well, I feel absolutely terrible that this tragedy happened. I hope everyone recovers and remembers the excellent work Johnson has done for the band.

Posted in Psychology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Snow White and The Huntsman

Posted on June 19, 2012 by

Featuring: Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth

Canadian Rating: PG

 

Here is my review of Snow White and Huntsman: the movie that was slightly more anticipated than Mirror Mirror.

I ended up watching this movie at the midnight showing, because Joel was very excited about this movie, and although I don’t do well without sleep, I had a little over half an Icee:

So what is the premise of the film? This is not an easy question to answer, since there wasn’t a whole lot of background. The beautiful but evil Ravenna (Charlize), usurps King Magnus (Snow White’s father) (Snow White is Kristen Stewart if you haven’t seen the commercials and have never heard of Twilight, which is commendable.) Snow White, who is only a child at this point, is immediately sent to prison and stays there until she is 18 when she escapes.

Ravenna’s powers are linked with her beauty, so she must always stay beautiful to stay in charge. Here they borrow a bit from Stardust, by having Ravenna “suck the youth” out of young women, turning them old and keeping her looking young.

I don’t mind saying that Hollywood has certainly not figured out how to make a young person look old without her looking scary as hell. If I see an old person, I don’t usually wonder if he or she is a zombie demon. But if you want to scare the Icee out of my hands, put gobs and gobs of unnatural fake wrinkles on Charlize Theron or Michelle Pfeiffer. Or…Winona Ryder from Edward Scissorhands. Night terrors!

But I digress. Ok, Youth = Power. So Ravenna sends the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to go find Snow White.

Adventures, betrayal, drama, war, heartbreak and cute animals fill the rest of the movie.

What did I think?

Well, the adventures were awesome. I love a good plot with eventful transactions. (Thesaurus you are no help today). The different situations the group encounters are truly…(flip flip flip)…riveting. 

I have no complaints about the performances of the three main stars, and extra shout outs to Ravenna’s creepy brother Finn (Sam Spruell).         

Another thing I enjoyed about the film was the dark overtones. They kept it going through the whole movie, which I appreciated. Some dark movies will lose the feel halfway through, like an actor failing to keep up a fake accent through an entire play. But in this case I definitely felt the medieval chills and the overall dark times they were living in. So mood gets 100%!

My main problem with the film:

ALMOST ZERO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

If you don’t develop Kristen Stewart, we’re just going to think she’s Bella in an alternate universe.

If you don’t develop Chris Hemsworth, we’re not going to care if he ends up marrying Snow Bella.

And most importantly, if you don’t develop  Charlize Theron, I’m not going to get into the movie at all. She is the center and face of Snow White and the Huntsman. She is supposed to be the main focus.

Evan Daugherty: But we showed you how evil she was!

Pertobello: Not good enough! All villains are evil. What else has she got for me? A childhood so horrific that I have mixed feelings about her possible defeat, but in the end it teaches us a good lesson about not making others suffer for our pain? She needed something like that to give her more depth.

Evan Daugherty: Well, I think you’re evil.

Pertobello: That is a whole other blog.

__

Anyway, here is my brain concensus:

Do not be afraid to rent it for a weekend afternoon.

Breakdown:

Story: 2/2

Character Development: 0/2

Graphics: 2/2

Score: 1/2

Writing: 1/2

6 Pertobellos out of 10

Posted in Movie Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What It’s Like to Have ADHD

Posted on March 27, 2012 by

25 Things About ADHD

I will start off by explaining that the reason I’m writing this article is because I made the decision to order a triple espresso at 7pm tonight. It is now 12:47am. Perhaps the caffeine should be worn off, but perhaps not. Perhaps it is the caffeine, but perhaps it is the worry that it is the caffeine.

Now I choose to recite a list:

1. Always in a hurry, never on time. 

When I was a kid, I used to ask my mom, “why are you in such a hurry?” Her answer was, “I’m always in a hurry.” I replied, “Oh that’s…why.”

2. Constant frustration.

ADHDers are prone to perfectionism.

This gives us ample opportunity for obsessive reflection or if you’re like me, temper tantrums.

3. Impulsivity.

Losing weight is nice and all, but that could take weeks, maybe months! And I want a strawberries & cream frappucino with chocolate chips and whipped cream NOW.

Q: But isn’t that-

A: No no, you listen to me, voice of reason: Strawberries. It’s probably good for me.

*ONE HOUR LATER*

A: Ick, I don’t feel so good. I feel kinda bloaty. Maybe that frappucino wasn’t such a good idea.

*ONE DAY LATER*

Losing weight is nice and all, but that could take weeks, maybe months! And I want a strawberries & cream frappucino with chocolate chips and whipped cream NOW.

Q: …

4. Inability to stick to a routine.

Take probiotics twice a day for stomach problems = Take probiotics once every two days, or whatever works best for you.

5. Constant frustration, part 2.

My tummy hurts.

6. Feeling overwhelmed.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one, there are so many things. NEXT.

7. Getting other people to read things for me.

I’m actually illiterate. I have a totally cute helper-monkey who types up my blog posts for me. He loves the Simpsons. This finally explains the pictures.

When I’m at a restaurant I sometimes get Joel to read the menu to me. I actually blame the menu for being super dense and looking like War & Peace.

If they can accomodate the vegetarians, why can’t they accomodate me and have a Cole’s Notes version?

8. People not believing me or people minimizing my problem.

Cindy: Just an FYI, I have Tourettes so please don’t take offense if I swear.

People: HAHAHAHAHA, oh Cindy, you SLAY ME.

Cindy: Hehe, yep. I’m pretty funny! But yeah, I really do have Tourettes.

People: Seriously? Oh man, oh gosh I’m so sorry!

~OR~

Cindy: Just an FYI I have ADHD. Sometimes I get frustrated when I try to concentrate.

People: That’s nice, dear.

9. Blurting out stuff.

I generally have a good filter for inappropriateness, unless it’s hilarious, then I can’t stop myself and you can’t stop me. Never tell me hilarious secrets.

10. Sugar and caffeine addiction. 

Ages 8 to 16: Coca-Cola

Ages 16 to 19: Iced Cappucino

Ages 19 to present day: Espresso drizzled on oreo ice cream.

11. Obsessions.

Cindy: Hello Friend, are you free Saturday?

Friend: (in shower, not texting back)

Cindy: Omg, if I don’t find out in the next 3 seconds, I’m going to completely forget that I was trying to plan something and the Universe along with all its baby huskies will be destroyed!

12. Anxiety. 

The driving force behind my very being.

13. Unfinished Novels.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe – Douglas Adams

Who is Bugs Potter? – Gordon Korman

14: Unfinished Non-Fiction.

The Guns of August – Barbara Tuchman

Cooking with Potatoes – Jenny Stacey

The Everything Health Guide to Adult ADD/ADHD – various authors

15. Finished Non-Fiction.

He’s Just Not That Into You

Assorted Foxtrot

16. Finished graphic novel serieses:

Scott Pilgrim. They are a thousand times better than the movie.

Gotta catch 'em all

17. The mind chattering away with a thousand thoughts at once. 

Please see the Simpsons episode entitled: “The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer”

18. Interest in things fleeting. 

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the project I started a week ago and forgot about.

19. Impatience.

"When I'm kicking you, that means hurry up!"

20. Last but not least, difficulty concentrating on tasks that require mental effort unless I am angry enough to finally do it. 

Dishes make me angry.

21. Fear of success. (Oops, I kept going)

Friend: Have you tried using timers to help you manage your time?

Cindy: That’s preposterous!

Friend: Are you sure? Because I find-

Cindy: Nope.

22. Pushing the wrong buttons.

Instructions are for wusses. Pushing random buttons until this copier/bank machine/computer program makes me a latte is my plan for the next half hour.

23. Identifying with Fry from Futurama.

I'm getting a headache with pictures.

24. Sitting in my cubicle at work, wishing I could go outside and frolic.

Weekend comes: Better Off Ted marathon.

25. Creative Minded.

I don’t mind this one so much.

Posted in ADHD, Best of Pertobello, Psychology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trek for Tourette: Support for Friends and Family with Tourette Syndrome

Posted on March 20, 2012 by
Jimmy Whales Takin' it All In

How to Ask for Money Without Sounding like Jimmy Whales

When I first started writing this blog entry, I found myself writing,

“Dear The People,

Thank you so much for being such loyal and awesome readers.”

Then I stopped myself, realizing that I had written a load of garbage.

Wait, wait, no, no! Not because it’s not true! You, The People, are excellent in so many ways. I can’t thank you enough for your continued excellence!

The problem is, if I were to explain to you my appreciation, my TRUE appreciation for your excellence, I would make a separate blog entry, no? I would never, say, compliment you and butter you up in order to cook you in the oven of FUNDRAISING. Lure you into my ginger bread house then trap you with guilt and manipulation.

Basically, the compliments were not coming from the right place, and I apologize.

This made me realize that usually when I read any articles that end in solicitations, they follow pretty much the same formula:

1. Flattery For You

2. Why We Love What We Do

3. Why We Care So Much About Said Charity

4. We Wouldn’t Be Able To Do What We Do Without Your Support And Generosity

5. Can We Have Some Money Now

I’m not saying that this is a terrible formula. It works well, and you gotta pay the billz! So that’s fine. The problem is that it’s not very sincere, and everyone knows this. You’re not foolin’ anyone, even if you tell me I’m pretty and that I look good in short shorts! (Thank you).

So I’m going to start over. And this time, it’s personal.

I’m going to start by telling you my story.

When I was growing up in the small town of Shediac, New Brunswick, it was absolutely normal to hear F words, JC words and other cussies in the house. The finger was also a normal part of our household. Now I’m not saying a 7-year-old Cindy could go up to Mom and say, “hey Ma, what the F*** are we having for dinner?” No way in heck. In fact my parents considered it offensive to swear, and we were trained to speak properly.

That means that we had two sets of ears:

1) the kind that were sensitive to bad words and would remind us to change the channel or turn off the movie if there were too many.

2) the kind that barely even batted an eye (yep, ears bat eyes now) when the shouts echoed through our house.

My dad was the unmistakeable Touretter of the house. He invited parents over who got in contact with him through the Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada, to discuss how to handle their children. I remember watching them pour out their feelings and anxieties, not knowing what to do!

My dad even travelled (and still does from time to time!) with my mom to different schools to explain to children and teachers the dynamics of the disorder.

Tourettes often includes other disorders like ADHD:

We in the business call it TS+.

The most interesting part of our Tourette adventures was the annual Bike-a-Thon we’d have to raise money:

The one that's the kid is me.

The After-Party

Tourettes Are Cool

Long story short, for me, it was a lot of fun and games. We had a community of friends with TS. We celebrated our different styles of tics, and laughed at the random and silly ones!

Oh I guess I shouldn’t say “we”! My bad. I didn’t know I had Tourettes, and neither did my brothers. We always supported Dad and our many friends, but our signs weren’t obvious back then. My Dad could tell, but we were in denial.

My symptoms have progressed since then. In 2004 it was mild, in 2008 it was at its highest peek, where I couldn’t go 10 minutes without having a tic.* Now I have it mostly under control, but things like stress, sugar or alcohol can bring it back with a vengeance! Oh and cold temperatures, oddly enough.

I was 13 when we had our last Bike-a-Thon and we went out with a bang. It was our most enjoyable year yet. They couldn’t continue though…Kids grow up and find other interests. Other life goals become a priority.

Now the Tourette Syndrome Foundation has started a new annual Fundraiser, the Trek for Tourette, to be held this Sunday, March 25th, 2012. This is the 4th Annual Trek, but I only heard about it last year.

Last year around this time, my mom was excitedly telling me about the new fundraiser, and to be honest, I ended up saying, “meh.” I’m not some cute kid who can go knock on doors and say, “Hi! Tourette Syndrome! Sign here!” and people kind of scratch their heads and go, “Well hi there little girl. Here’s 5 dollars.”

No, times have changed!

But this year I decided to do it.

I decided because back when I had a supportive community, I “didn’t have Tourettes.” Now I do, and I live in the big city of Toronto, where I don’t know too many people here who have it. So I signed up, Joel and myself, so we could meet some new people and start over with some new friends.

It’s really important to get together with people who have the same difficulties as you. If you have any health issues, mental or physical, you KNOW how great it is to feel like you’re not alone.

So that is why I wrote this blog. To express my need for Tourette Camaraderie.

And to let you know that my dream job is to help kids with TS, and give them the comfort and warmth that I had growing up, and that my Dad was able to provide for many other people too.

I know I didn’t talk much about money in this blog, and that is because the funds are my secondary reason for doing the Trek. But I will let you know that I may have overshot and made a goal of raising $200….and right now I’m at $20.

So…there isn’t much hope of me reaching my goal…

OR IS THERE??

If you’d like to help me reach my goal to bring over 20 dollars to the Trek, please go here:

http://www.tourette.ca/eventscalendar-event.php?entry_id=14136

Click “Make a Pledge” and in the dropdown list, my Team is called “Jocynth” under Toronto.

Thanks so much for listening, and IOU one “you are such loyal and awesome readers I could just die!” article! :)

Thanks again,

Pertobello

My Brother Psyching Himself Up For Bike-A-Thon

*Tics vary WIDELY from person to person. My usual tics include hitting myself on the forehead, jerking my neck, biting my hand, saying the “S” or “F” word, or saying other words that happen to be rotating in my mind, like my husband’s name “JOEL!!” I guess that kind of sounds like “d’oh!!” eh? ;)

Posted in Psychology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Cindy’s Return to the Universe

Posted on March 6, 2012 by

Hello Friends and Well-Wishers,

I’ve been away for a long, long time. Partly this was due to getting engaged and planning a wedding. But mostly it was because I read on wordpress.com that in order to get lots of readership, you need to blog often. So I wrote 4 blogs, wham wham wham! Wham! And things were going great. It was really helping my stats! But I guess my circuits were overloaded by the overblogging, because for the next few months I took to staring at my computer, mouth ajar, eyes aglaze, lips asnarl and mind ablank, instead of you know, writing stuff.

Things I’ve been up to:

Marriage! Here are the pics by our wonderful and amazing friend @vitzter:

http://vito.smugmug.com/Weddings/Joel-Cindy/20974291_6CQMWt#!i=1666825713&k=bx88RRm

Maybe some of you have seen my tweets on the subject, but I’ve been watching a show called, “The Family Guy.”

Q: Family “what?”

A: Family Guy.

Q: Hmm, never heard of it.

A: I know, I think it was some Indie show there for awhile. Seems up and coming though!

Q: I’m just kidding. OF COURSE I’ve heard of it. YOU don’t know anything about it because all you watch all day is a one-eyed chick who will never realize how much she loves her idiot red-headed friend with a heart of gold!

A: SHE WILL REALIZE HOW SHE FEELS, SHE JUST NEEDS MORE TIME, OK!?

I MEAN, LOOK AT THE FANART:

Image

See?? They belong together!

Anyway, so I’ve been watching this new show called “Family Guy” and well, let me start from the beginning. When it first came out, I was not impressed at all.

I mean, a family with 3 kids, a boy, a girl and a baby? An oafish Dad and a more-than-obliging, patient wife?

Dad has his drinking buddies. Mom cleans the house and takes care of the kids.

Sounds very much like another show that was very popular around that time. A show that raised me, yes raised me like it was my own nanny. Babysitting me while one parent made supper and the other was still on their way home from work. A show that has decided my future for me, that I would be a Quoter of Simpsons, even in the most inappropriate of times. It has taken me years to undo the damage, and to learn to control my quotey impulses, especially the line, “I don’t have to be careful, I’ve got a gun!” in hotel lobbies.

Part of this was due to extreme fandom and exposure, because I’ve met many other fans who are the same as me. A situation occurs that reminds us both of a Simpsons scene and we look at each other and just say the quote. Another part is thanks to Tourette Syndrome, a syndrome that has many delightful facets. One being the ability to pick up lines, phrases and words that you enjoyed hearing, or that you’ve heard repeatedly, and allowing them to turn and turn in your head like your head is a dryer and then when the moment comes to say the line, BING the dryer’s done and all the clothes fly out and scatter all over the room. (It’s not a good dryer.)

Q: What is your favorite Simpsons quote?

A: It’s a toss up between this:

and this:

HAHAHA “Of course in Canada the whole thing’s flip flop”! Oh man! 

Ok moving on. I’m pretty sure I’ve successfully conveyed that my affection, love and obsession for the Simpsons is much more than just sentimental. 

So when Family Guy came along, I didn’t just feel challenged. Like, hey, there’s a new kid in town. I also felt angry that they used so much Simpsons material, AND because Peter was an even worse Homer. Like Seth MacFarlane just took Homer and made him 10 times worse than he already is, and Homer is already 100 times worse than any human should be! 

You are lucky I forgot how scientific notation works, otherwise I’d fill this blog up with, oh shoot I clicked “Paint” instead of “Calculator.”

 Image

But now, a whopping 12 years later, I have…I have warmed up to the characters. 

This is because they’ve actually developed the characters. The idea of an ingenius, evil baby trying to kill his mom every episode and failing because of a small coincidental slip up:

TIRESOME.

 Image

But the idea of an ingenius, slightly more mellowed out baby, quipping with the dog for 5 minutes straight, THAT I can get into!

Q: So, changing the subject, what are your plans for the future?

A: I was getting to that… 

Plans for the Future:

1. Join me in my quest to become a more regular blogger! Be my sidekick and, more realistically, my shoulder to cry on as I battle writer’s block.

2. Got some more juicy articles about ADHD coming up. I got some nice Unhelpful tips for you! That’s right, “what not to do,” unless you want to be really unproductive…which I know you do! ;)

3. An article about RomComs. This will take you through the amazing story of how I despised chick flicks, then slowly warmed up to Family Guy, er, I mean chick flicks. But then why I still distrust them. 

4. Relationship phobias: a series!

5. A movie review for the film Cowboys & Aliens.

Q: Why Cowboys & Aliens? 

A: Because I started it in September and I’ve been meaning to finish it. I will probably have to re-watch it first, because all I remember now is naked Olivia Wilde.

6. I finally know what my new novel is going to be about! My husband says I should most probably throw in some vampires, but I don’t like vampires at all. Although, I do want people to think, “hey that’s trendy. I should read it!” So I’m making it about clones. Is that ok? Ok, how about each clone gets a little vampire conscience that appears above the shoulder?

Speaking of novels, my fave Family Guy clip:

I look forward to our future together.

Posted in ADHD, Psychology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Addictions: Featuring Star Trek as a Helpful Example

Posted on September 1, 2011 by

Addictions:

There all kinds of them, alcohol addictions, sugar addictions, gambling addictions, computer game addictions, work addictions, shopping addictions, fancy car addictions, caffeine addictions, Korean drama addictions, chocolate addictions, nicotine addictions, medication addictions, friendship addictions (which commonly lead to stalking addictions), addictive TV show addictions, tea addictions, crumpet addictions, and come to think of it, listening to British people addictions.

Honestly, I didn’t even know there were so many addictions until I wrote that paragraph.

  • Why are there so many addictions?
  • Where did they all come from?
  • Can we send them back to Tatooine?

The answers to the following questions are as follows:

1 – People like to take advantage of the imperfection of humans and our many wants (…that slowly turn into needs as we get accustomed to having those wants in our lives).

2 – Tatooine

3 – For now, we have not yet developed the technology to launch concepts into space (let alone getting them to congregate and line up and agree to be expelled from Earth).

But it’s interesting you should bring up outer space.

Because there was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, that aired in 1988, called “Symbiosis”, and to quote the internet, in this episode…:

“The Enterprise encounters two neighboring cultures, one suffering from a plague, the other marketing a cure, and learn that nothing is as simple as it seems.”

So we have two planets, one is the seller of medication, and the other is the buyer. At first, the crew and of course the audience are rooting for the sick planet to just get its medication so it can feel better! (There is a delay in getting the latest shipment).

Then wait a minute, when Dr. Crusher finally administers the drugs to the two guys (T’Jon & Romas) from the sick planet, she realizes that there is something fishy in the Alpha Quadrant! These guys aren’t sick! They’re suffering from withdrawal and they are just really, really, disablingly addicted to the meds. Their disease was cured years ago, but the seller planet still depends on the meds’ addictive nature to make their money and to keep their whole economy running.

At first when I saw this episode, I was thinking, “Pfft, all you need is for one hippy, or anarchist, or humanitarian, or any kind of person who has a conscience and doesn’t mind ruining a whole planet’s economy, to let the cat out of the bag.”

But then I realized, you know, this is the first season of TNG, which also features mini non-organic life forms’ calling Picard an “ugly bag of meat,” then the crew dims the lights and they react like the witch from Wizard of Oz.

So, you gotta know what you’re dealing with. First season of TNG: Not All the Bugs are Worked Out.

Bugs aside, I realized that this episode is a great allegory for our lives today. Instead of two planets though, you just have humans. Buyers and Sellers.

Me? I’m a buyer. I find myself periodically addicted to caffeine, sugar, pina coladas, bread and french fries.

Caffeine is the number one habit I’d like to kick. Especially because when I start to feel down or dreary, I should probably reach for some vegetables and fruits, which contain nutrients that will actually make me feel better, not just make me THINK I feel better.

And that’s the problem with addictions, they make you think you feel better, but you really don’t. Because once the excitement, high or energy wears off, you’re back where you started.

How do you free yourself then?

Well, let’s ask Captain Picard.

Through most of the episode, as I remember it, Picard is lecturing everyone about not getting involved, and how it’s not the Federation way to interfere in planetary affairs.

And just when you think that these poor drug addicts are going to be stuck buying meds they don’t need, Picard says to T’Jon & Ramos, “whoops, I’m not helping you fix your cargo ship, and now you can’t get supplies. Sorry, it’s um, Starfleet protocol or something. Oh snap!” And the poor addicts are all, “AHH!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US? WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!”

What are the lessons here?

  1. Both races will now have an opportunity to advance and broaden out their economy/talents/uses of resources
  2. Cold turkey
  3. No pain, no gain
  4. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care
  5. You can’t send all addictions into space, but you can make your own personal rocket for your own addictions that you may be struggling with.

And finally…

6. You are not going to die without the thing you’re addicted to. You’ll just FEEL like you’re dying. It’s totally different.

All the best to you! Me? I’m gonna cut back on the espresso.

Posted in Best of Pertobello, Psychology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Posted on August 30, 2011 by

Shia LaBoeuf, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, John Malkovich, Leonard Nemoy

Canadian Rating: PG

Despite the following things:

  1. My distaste for the first Transformers movie,
  2. My anger toward this genre of films from all the laziness that goes into making them,
  3. Michael Bay,
  4. Too much action in a movie,
  5. That I saw the movie at 10 in the morning,

I kinda liked this movie.

Obviously, a part of my enjoyment was due to expecting not to like it. Normally I will argue that “expectations” don’t affect my opinion, and I am very proud of being able to form an opinion without being “controlled” by “hype” or “build-up”, whether negative or positive.

But this time, expectations was definitely a factor. If you’re going into a fight with all of your muscles tense and braced for the thrashing of a lifetime, but then you just get Mr. Burns throwing terribly weak punches, well, it’s going to feel good. It must release endorphins when something is not as bad as you expected.

Now that we got that out of the way, here is the outline for my review:

1) Stuff I didn’t hate.

If you’d like me to dumb it down a shade, let me know! I was thinking of having a section for stuff I did hate, but it’s so quick that I can run that by you right now.

1. The final action sequence could have been shorter, because you’re watching the same thing for, it feels like, a solid hour. Even the fiancé got bored and he loves action. But there are cool things in that sequence that I discuss later.

2. And that Carly girl: too much chest and butt close-ups! Trust me, we have eyes! We can see that she’s hot! It looked too much like they were overcompensating for losing Megan Fox.

Stuff I Didn’t Hate

1) Dialogue/Humor

This happens every damn time I watch a Michael Bay movie. I’m all geared up to make fun of every pathetic/cliché/badly acted/fake/thrown together line before the writers cut out early to get wasted, using their fat wallets to celebrate their paycheques that roll in after they use material which I’m sure they stole from my grade 3 creative writing notebook.

Then I realize I’m not watching Spiderman 3 and that everything’s ok, and that Michael Bay actually does spring for good writers. Not as much as for graphics, but it’s decent. And one rule for me is that if you want to win me over, use good lines. And I’ll like it. I may not always love it, but I feel like that is the most important part of a movie. So I’ll appreciate that you had your priorities in order.

The dialogue was relaxed and natural. It didn’t feel constructed or contrived, and it even seemed even a bit improvised (something I always agree with). I assume some of Shia La - (sigh, one thing I hate about reviewing films is interrupting my train of thought to google how these actors’ names are spelled) – Beouf’s lines were improvised, because he rambles a lot, and I have a friend who is just like him and he talks and rambles like crazy and he would be great at improv, so I assume it’s the same for Shia.

3) John Malkovich

Always a treat.

4) Chicago

I have never seen Chicago get destroyed like that! I’m sure it’s happened, but for me that was new and exciting! From my observation, New York and LA are the destroyer movies, while Chicago and Miami are the feel good movies. I mean, “While You Were Sleeping”? “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”? Do you dare destroy Ferris’s hometown?

5) Leonard Nemoy

I’m not sure if it was Leonard Nemoy that I loved more, or the moment where Joel and I both realized that it was Leonard Nemoy at the same, and we turned to each other and gasped.

I feel like Leonard’s presence added something special to the movie. These autobots, especially the leaders, need powerful commanding voices that sound above-human, and Leonard’s voice is perfect for that.

Admittedly, it was very weird when he quoted Star Trek and said, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” At first, I was totally having a temper tantrum. Without revealing too much, his character Sentinal used it in a way that was really out of context, so the obsessive part of me was perturbed. But then, I realized, hey, Star Trek is mostly old news if it’s not with Chris Pine, so it was a little something for the fans. Plus I got to explain the reference to Joel, so the movie wasn’t just him explaining Transformer references to me. 

6) An Imperfect Hero

The whining did get annoying, trust me. And I will gladly complain about that. If I had to listen to Sam say one more time, “I saved the world twice and now I have to work in a stupid mailroom,” I would have sent a popcorn bag sailing toward the screen. But nonetheless, he is an imperfect teenager who makes silly mistakes, and that has much more appeal for the audience, especially because he contrasts with the older, more mature autobots.

One of my favorite lines is when he completely bombs his interview with John Malkovich’s character, Bruce. Then when Sam is about to leave he turns around and says, “look, I can’t tell you what I did but I’ve saved your life twice. I’ve done s**t that matters.” And he gets hired!

7) Compare/Contrast with Transformers 1

Here is another important key as to why I liked it even though many reviewers (who are kinder to these genres) did not care for it.

I really didn’t like the first Transformers. I felt like it was 20% character development and plot build-up (which was very good!) but then 80% action. And that is how to make Pertobello snore.

Giant wads of action do not impress me or win my heart over. Normally I can only handle 20 minutes at a time, but with Michael Bay, obviously I need to compromise. So I propose that he break it up more, which he did for me in T3.

T3:

Story, Action, Story, Action, Story, Action, Story, Action, Action, Action, Action.

T1:

Story, Action, Action, Action, Action, Action, Action, Action, Action, Action.

I never went to see Transformer 2, if you’ve been wondering about that. I heard that it went more like this:

ACTION x 10^12

So I figured I’d be ok if I missed that one.

8) Chicago Again

Chicago is a beautiful city. I was so impressed when I was there in February 2011. Just gorgeous. The shots of the city in this movie were breathtaking, and it felt like I was there again.

There was one scene where Shockwave, the crazy giant snake Decepticon, wrapped around this glass building and trapped the good guys inside (please excuse my ignorance if Shockwave is supposed to be an eel or something. I’m not up on my Transformers knowledge).

The graphics were amazing. Since the bulk of the sequence took place in the morning, the sun glistened off windows as the building was reshaped. With the morning light and the reflections on the building, Michael was able to get some gorgeous shots.

So that was my take on Transformers 3. Was it a perfect movie? No. But the important thing is I didn’t spend the movie wincing and doing a half-shrug, half throwing hands up in the air gesture either, which I do during painful movies.

It was fun, it was worth my money for sure, and I’d see it again.

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